Art Buchwald

Journalist

1925-10-20 – 2007-01-17

Art Buchwald was an American humorist and columnist known for satirical commentary on politics and culture.

Quotes by Art Buchwald

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
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Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
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Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
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Americans are a broad minded people. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive there's something wrong with him.
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The best things in life aren't things.
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While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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New York was the glamorous town that you only see now in old movies and on Broadway stages. The sky was lit up with dancing neon signs. It was safe to walk out in the streets.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
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When we grieve, tears and guilt get mixed together.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
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I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.
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