Bo Burnham

Comedian

1990-08-21

American comedian, musician, writer, and filmmaker known for stand-up comedy, the film Eighth Grade, and the Netflix special Inside. He began performing comedy online and developed into a prominent multi-format creator.

Books by Bo Burnham

Egghead
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Quotes by Bo Burnham

MmmmmmI like that thing you do with your tongue. What do you call it? Speaking? Yeah, I dig it
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I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed
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Sully suffers from a stutter,simple syllables will clutter,stalling speeches up on beacheslike a sunken sailboat rudder.Sully strains to say his phrases,sickened by the sounds he raises,strings of thoughts come out in knots,he solves his sentences like mazes.At night, he writes his thoughts insteadand sighs as they steadily rush from his head.
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HangedI hung myself today. Hanged? Whatever,the point is I hanged myself today and I'm stillhanging.I feel fine. Just bored. I keep hoping thatsomeone will come home and cut me downbut then I keep remembering that if I knewsomeone like that I wouldn't be up here. Bitironic, right? Or is that not ironic? I readsomewhere that, like, anything funny is,in some way, ironic. But I don't know if it'sfunny or not. I don't think my brain owns—funny", you know?I feel taller. I like that.I've never been away from my shadow forthis long. It had always clung to my feet,parting momentarily for a quick dive intothe swimming pool. But never for fivehours. I like it. There's three feet of spacebetween my two and the floor.I wanted something this morning. I may bestuck. But at least I'm three feet closer to it.
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Read this to yourself. Read it silently.Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD! SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND! DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper. Now, read this next line in your best crotchety- old man voice:Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?Awesome! Who was that? Whose voice was that? It sure wasn't yours! How do you do that?How?! It must've been magic.
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Well, man, you know what they say.No, I don't. I don't know what they say. I don't even know who they are. Who is this they? They seem pretty smug. They seem to think they know shit. Fuck them.
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Read this to yourself. Read it silently.Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD! SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND! DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper. Now, read this next line in your best crotchety- old man voice:Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?Awesome! Who was that? Whose voice was that? It sure wasn't yours! How do you do that?How?! It must've been magic.
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HangedI hung myself today. Hanged? Whatever,the point is I hanged myself today and I'm stillhanging.I feel fine. Just bored. I keep hoping thatsomeone will come home and cut me downbut then I keep remembering that if I knewsomeone like that I wouldn't be up here. Bitironic, right? Or is that not ironic? I readsomewhere that, like, anything funny is,in some way, ironic. But I don't know if it'sfunny or not. I don't think my brain owns—funny", you know?I feel taller. I like that.I've never been away from my shadow forthis long. It had always clung to my feet,parting momentarily for a quick dive intothe swimming pool. But never for fivehours. I like it. There's three feet of spacebetween my two and the floor.I wanted something this morning. I may bestuck. But at least I'm three feet closer to it.
Read quote
I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed
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MmmmmmI like that thing you do with your tongue. What do you call it? Speaking? Yeah, I dig it
Read quote
Sully suffers from a stutter,simple syllables will clutter,stalling speeches up on beacheslike a sunken sailboat rudder.Sully strains to say his phrases,sickened by the sounds he raises,strings of thoughts come out in knots,he solves his sentences like mazes.At night, he writes his thoughts insteadand sighs as they steadily rush from his head.
Read quote
Well, man, you know what they say.No, I don't. I don't know what they say. I don't even know who they are. Who is this they? They seem pretty smug. They seem to think they know shit. Fuck them.
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Comedy doesn't really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult - I don't treat it like a child or a god, which some people do. This might just be in America, but 'stand-up comedy' is something very particular that I don't particularly relate to.
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The strange thing was, when I was starting on YouTube, even the paradigm of YouTube and Internet sensation - or whatever - that didn't really exist. So I didn't even know that that was a thing.
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Please don't stick with me if I start sucking.
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You got to take a deep breath and give up. The system is rigged against you.
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I write about what I know: teenage dating, overly charged sexuality, all the things that make you uncomfortable.
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I like to joke about being gay because it's something teenagers would never joke about.
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I like the idea of conceiving a show and putting on a show, and especially when I got to the place where I could play theaters.
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I love Tim Minchin, Bill Bailey, and Hans Teeuwen, and I'm trying to synthesise elements of theatre into my show a little bit more.
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