Claudia Winkleman

Entertainer

1972-01-15

Quotes by Claudia Winkleman

• Being hummed at by someone with magic hands while they knead your neck is good for the soul, but it won't make you giggle for days afterwards. In fact, the second the smiley therapist stops and says, 'You can put your robe on now, the hour is up,' the joy and wonder sort of leaves the room.

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• Sex and the City: The Movie' - a bit like the All Saints comeback, and the return of the Jammy Dodger, it feels a little staged and all wrong.

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• My mum raised me in a home without mirrors. She's a staunch feminist and wanted us to know that what we look like is the least interesting thing about us.

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• If a straight man dresses well, chances are he's not straight.

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• I'm not sure a pretty and stupid man might be the key to a happy relationship.

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• All my life, I have avoided any sort of exercise. I don't enjoy sweating and I think people who show off about having just done 20 press-ups are pretty weird.

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• I am allergic to sweating. Seriously I get in shape by lying down.

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• Seriously, Jamie Cullum could be the smallest person on the planet. He might be lovely and charming and you might think we all should spend more time talking about his piano-playing techniques but, seriously, have you seen how short he is?

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• Men fill up their heads and drawers and sheds with stuff from their teenage years.

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• It's deep in the south of India and next to Goa, but thankfully the folk who like Goa haven't worked out that Kerala is a lot nicer and just next door. You do feel that you are discovering somewhere entirely new in Kerala. It makes you feel like you are on a totally different planet.

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• The truth is that tights are just so cosy.

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• I'd take Tom Hollander over Brad Pitt any day.

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• Left to their own devices, men would wear trainers with a pair of stonewashed jeans and would think nothing of throwing on a donkey jacket.

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• Stockings are tricky for girls - you worry about them falling down all night and the idea that you dress up at 7pm so that your boyfriend can get excited about six hours later is just too much effort.

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• My twenties were painful. You had to go out to nightclubs. I love not having to pretend to enjoy those things anymore.

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• I couldn't tell you my wedding anniversary (although I seem to remember it was in June. Or maybe July. Definitely a month beginning with a 'J,' anyhow. But not January. Um. I think) and people I went to school with get extremely fed up with me when I bump into them in the street and have absolutely no recollection of their faces.

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• I'd like my children to remember all the cuddles and bedtimes, and that I worshipped them unconditionally.

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• There's no fun in relationships. OK - that's not strictly true. I will agree that the first bit can be not totally unpleasant. There's the initial meeting and the heart quickening and the stomach-churning excitement of it all.

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• Facebook, I'm learning, is like a man. You have to be smiley and fun and witty but sometimes you have to play it cool and just ignore it for a couple of hours.

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• Things I am allergic to: people who believe in star signs and think nothing of starting a conversation with: 'Hi, my name's Lucy. I'm a Sagittarius;' rodents (apart from miniature hamsters, which are not in fact rodents but small, breathing, brown balls of cotton wool); and people who go to the gym.

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