Dennis Miller

Comedian

1953-11-03

Books by Dennis Miller

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And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow
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And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow
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Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
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Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
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Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 Rs, only one begins with an R.
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I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.
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