Don Rickles

Comedian

1926-05-08

Quotes by Don Rickles

• When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

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• I mean, in my - and I'm not trying to do spilled milk, but in those days it was a little - I think it was much tougher, because you got an image, and you were in a saloon. And it was tough to come out of a saloon and to get in films, and to maintain an image, you know.

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• Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

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• I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

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• I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that.

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• Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bones about who he liked and who he loved, and he had this great charisma. When he walked into a room, it stopped. I've only seen that happen with Ronald Reagan.

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• Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

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• To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good storyteller and a good joke teller.

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• I did a picture 40 years ago with Carroll O'Connor and Telly Savalas, God rest their souls, and Clint Eastwood, called 'Kelly's Heroes,' which we filmed in Yugoslavia for six months.

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• We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't.

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• I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

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• Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.

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• I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

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• I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.

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• Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.

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• I write my own tweets.

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• Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was.

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• When you first start out with something new, you're always a little uptight.

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• If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.

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• I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me.

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