Eddie Griffin

I am telling you, Lebanon was fun. I played for 5,000 people in a sold-out venue. The clubs there don't even open until 4 A.M. If a bomb goes off, people don't get excited. They live every day like it's their last because it could possibly be.

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We went to open-mike night at a comedy club called Stanford & Sons and the comics were terrible. My cousin dared me to get up there and, well, he was challenging my manhood. I had to do it.

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Stereotypes start somewhere. There's different sides to all of us.

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I'm a storyteller. My whole family is storytellers. I'm just a product of my environment.

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I'm one of the greatest storytellers ever.

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There is a systematic effort to destroy every black male entertainer's image. They want us all to have an asterisk by our name.

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The Tea Party ain't nothing but the Klan in street clothes. I liked 'em better when they were in the sheets, at least I could spot them.

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One night I went to this comedy club and paid a hard-earned $5 to get in, and every comic that came up was dry as an old turkey wishbone, as in not even close to being funny. When you're broke and you pay $5 to see somebody, you want them to be funny.

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Austin Powers' is a huge success. If we get half of those numbers we will be elated. I think this film is more an 'Austin Powers' meets 'Shaft.' But, 'Undercover Brother' is totally unique.

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I'm truly a believer that Satan was behind everything that happened in that White House, and now, the Republican party. Anything that is good for the people, they're against it.

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Quotes by Eddie Griffin