Fred Allen

Comedian

1894-05-31

Books by Fred Allen

Treadmill to Oblivion
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Quotes by Fred Allen

a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done
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All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.
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California is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.
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All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.
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a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done
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California is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.
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All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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