George Mikes

Writer

1912-02-15 – 1987-08-30

George Mikes was a Hungarian-born British journalist and humorist best known for How to Be an Alien. He wrote satirical commentary on national cultures and British life.

Quotes by George Mikes

When I am alone in the forest at night-time and jump from one tree to another, I often think that life is so strange.
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Q. Why don't the British panic?A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy.
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Q. Why don't the British panic?A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy.
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When I am alone in the forest at night-time and jump from one tree to another, I often think that life is so strange.
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In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.
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When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.
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On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally worshipped as in ancient Egypt.
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In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly, I don't object, you know. If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: I rather fancy you, in fact.
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You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if you are tired; if anybody thinks that you might be tired; if you are nervous; if you are gay; before you go out; if you are out; if you have just returned home; if you feel like it; if you do not feel like it; if you have had no tea for some time; if you have just had a cup.
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People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth.
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To be extravagant you need money. True. But you do not need your own money.
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Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents.
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If somebody tells you an obviously untrue story, on the Continent you would remark, You are a liar, Sir, and a rather dirty one at that. In England you just say Oh, is that so? Or That's rather an unusual story, isn't it?
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Foreigners have souls; the English haven't.
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On the Continent there is one topic which should be avoided-the weather; in England, if you do not repeat the phrase Lovely day, isn't it? at least two hundred times a day, you are considered a bit dull.
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