Jane Wagner

Comedian

1935-02-02

Quotes by Jane Wagner

• My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it's absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.

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• I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

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• My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it's absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.

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• I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

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• All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

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• A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?

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• We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation.

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• I worry no matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.

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• There will be sex after death; we just won't be able to feel it.

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• The ability to delude yourself might be an important survival tool ... Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

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• I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu.

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• Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool.

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• If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. Yeah, I told 'em I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest.

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• At one point, Howard, we were hunters and gatherers and then seems like all of a sudden we became party goers.

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• If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest.

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• For a long time now, it appears we've been a species on auto-snooze.

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• I worry that humanity has been advanced to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle.

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• Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night.

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• I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

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• When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

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