Jimmy Kimmel

Comedian

1967-11-13

American comedian and television host best known for Jimmy Kimmel Live!. He previously cohosted Win Ben Stein's Money and The Man Show.

Quotes by Jimmy Kimmel

I started doing a half-hour Sunday night talk show on college radio station KUNV. That excited me more than anything I'd ever done. I went through the Yellow Pages to find people who seemed interesting. I'd goof on these people, but they were so excited to be on the radio that they didn't even notice.
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No matter what Sarah Palin and these geniuses she surrounds herself with try to tell you, climate change is not a liberal versus conservative thing, but the people who profit from ignoring it want you to believe it is.
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If you want to do a talk show on network television, you're probably going to wind up having a desk and a band, wearing a suit, and having a sidekick. Audiences want to feel comfortable.
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There's no debate about the greenhouse effect, just like there's no debate about gravity. If someone throws a piano off the roof, I don't care what Sarah Palin tells you, get out of the way because it's coming down on your head.
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On Monday and Thursday, I eat fewer than 500 calories a day; then I eat like a pig for the other five days. You 'surprise' the body: keep it guessing. I got the idea from a BBC documentary about this Indian man who seemed about 138 years old and said his secret was severe calorie restriction.
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I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie?
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I like a real beach. A crowded one, you know? People, towels, umbrellas. I hate those little private strips of sand you see up in Malibu.
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I do have a treadmill desk in my office, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email and going through jokes. I haven't walked on it in probably four months. Now it's more of an upright dining table for me. At some point, moss will grow over it, birds will build nests, and nature will reclaim the treadmill as its own.
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There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.
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