MaryJanice Davidson

Quotes by MaryJanice Davidson

Have you lost your teeny tiny mind, you too-tall, too-skinny, too-crazy jerk?—"Oh, look who's talking, Miss Let's Blunder Around the Time Stream and Hang the Consequences! Thanks to you, we've got a dead Marc and alive Marc in the same timeline . . . in the same house! Thanks to you, I got chomped on by a dim, blonde, undead, selfish, whorish, blood-suckingleech when I was minding my own business in the past.""Don't you call me dim!""Um. Everyone. Perhaps we should" — Tina began."Wait, when did this happen?" Marc asked. He had the look of a man desperately trying to buy a vowel. "Past, an hour ago? Past, last year? Helpme out.""Oh, biiiiig surprise!" Laura threw her (perfectly manicured) hands in the air. "Let me guess, you were soooo busy banging your dead husbandthat you haven't had time to tell anybody anything.""I was getting to it," I whined."Then after not telling anyone anything and not being proactive" or even active!— you grow up to destroy the world and bring about eternalnuclear winter or whatever the heck that was and how do you deal with your foreknowledge of terrible events to come? Have sex!—"An affirmation of life?" Sinclair suggested. Never, I repeat, never had I loved him more. I was torn between slugging my sister and blowing myhusband. Hmm. Laura might have a point about my priorities . . . but jeez. Look at him. Yum.—— even do it and what do you have to say for yourself? Huh?—"You're just uptight, repressed, smug, antisex, and jealous, you Antichristing morally superior, fundamentally evil bitch."Laura and Marc gasped. My husband groaned.
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Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth.Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms.
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He's all right. His hair is cute.Jonas froze, his lobster fork halfway to his mouth. Oh my God, you're in love.I'm not in love.'his hair is cute'? You never say anything nice about anyone. Coming from you, cute hair is a mating call. I talked to the guy for thirty seconds. And then he waved at me while i was in the tank.Holy fuck, you're getting married, aren't you! Will you simmer. I certainly am not.
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I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago.Waitress! Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. Bring two! then, more quietly,You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?
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You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional disorders are really very dull.
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Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth.Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms.
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He's all right. His hair is cute.Jonas froze, his lobster fork halfway to his mouth. Oh my God, you're in love.I'm not in love.'his hair is cute'? You never say anything nice about anyone. Coming from you, cute hair is a mating call. I talked to the guy for thirty seconds. And then he waved at me while i was in the tank.Holy fuck, you're getting married, aren't you! Will you simmer. I certainly am not.
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I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago.Waitress! Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. Bring two! then, more quietly,You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?
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Have you lost your teeny tiny mind, you too-tall, too-skinny, too-crazy jerk?—"Oh, look who's talking, Miss Let's Blunder Around the Time Stream and Hang the Consequences! Thanks to you, we've got a dead Marc and alive Marc in the same timeline . . . in the same house! Thanks to you, I got chomped on by a dim, blonde, undead, selfish, whorish, blood-suckingleech when I was minding my own business in the past.""Don't you call me dim!""Um. Everyone. Perhaps we should" — Tina began."Wait, when did this happen?" Marc asked. He had the look of a man desperately trying to buy a vowel. "Past, an hour ago? Past, last year? Helpme out.""Oh, biiiiig surprise!" Laura threw her (perfectly manicured) hands in the air. "Let me guess, you were soooo busy banging your dead husbandthat you haven't had time to tell anybody anything.""I was getting to it," I whined."Then after not telling anyone anything and not being proactive" or even active!— you grow up to destroy the world and bring about eternalnuclear winter or whatever the heck that was and how do you deal with your foreknowledge of terrible events to come? Have sex!—"An affirmation of life?" Sinclair suggested. Never, I repeat, never had I loved him more. I was torn between slugging my sister and blowing myhusband. Hmm. Laura might have a point about my priorities . . . but jeez. Look at him. Yum.—— even do it and what do you have to say for yourself? Huh?—"You're just uptight, repressed, smug, antisex, and jealous, you Antichristing morally superior, fundamentally evil bitch."Laura and Marc gasped. My husband groaned.
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You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional disorders are really very dull.
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I used to be a model and a medical test subject, though never at the same time. And since we didn't have much money when I was a kid, I know how to fish and hunt for my supper. And I used to win awards in speech in high school, which comes in handy when I speak to 200 people at a writers' conference.
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I wrote for free for, like, fifteen years; I could redo my parlor in rejection slips. It would be surprisingly tasteful - they use nice paper.
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