P.G. Wodehouse

There is no pathos more bitter than that of parting from someone we have never met.

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Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

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Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

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Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

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I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.

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To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

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Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

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She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.

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I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.

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It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

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The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

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Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

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Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

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Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.

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Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

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My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.

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Mr Potts said that lending money always made him feel as if he were rubbing velvet up the wrong way.

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Reggie's was a troubled spirit these days. He was in love, and he developed a bad slice with his mid-iron. He was practically a soul in torment.

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Quotes by P.G. Wodehouse