Steve Allen
Entertainer
1921-12-26
Quotes by Steve Allen
-
In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.
Read quote -
When my mother passed away several years ago— well, wait a minute. Actually, she didn't —pass away.' She died. Something about that verb, —to pass away' always sounds to me as if someone just drifted through the wallpaper. No, my mother did not pass away. She definitely died.
Read quote -
In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.
Read quote -
When my mother passed away several years ago— well, wait a minute. Actually, she didn't —pass away.' She died. Something about that verb, —to pass away' always sounds to me as if someone just drifted through the wallpaper. No, my mother did not pass away. She definitely died.
Read quote -
Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
Read quote -
I was in sixth grade the first time I was required to speak in front of an audience. I had terrible stage fright and felt quite ill, in fact, by the time I had to give my little talk to students in another class across the hall.
Read quote -
In general, the straight line of a joke sets up a premise, an expectation. Then the funny ending - the punch line - in a sense contradicts the original assumption by refusing to follow what had seemed a reasonable train of thought. Many jokes involve that simple matter of leaping outside what had appeared to be the rules of the game at the moment.
Read quote -
Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized.
Read quote -
Much of the best humor is found in the frequently tragic reality of human experience.
Read quote -
I personally find it difficult to accept that there could be anyone on earth insensitive to the comic abilities of Laurel and Hardy, Sid Caesar, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, or Martin Short. But no matter who the comic entertainer is, there is always at least a minority prepared to say, 'What's all the excitement about? He doesn't seem funny to me.'
Read quote -
If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.
Read quote -
Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
Read quote -
If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.
Read quote