Steve Martin

Comedian

1945-08-14

American comedian, actor, writer, and producer who rose to prominence as a stand-up performer before becoming a major film star. He is known for works including The Jerk, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and Only Murders in the Building.

Quotes by Steve Martin

People in coats and ties were milling around the Talley gallery, and on the wall were the minimally rendered still lifes by Giorgio Morandi, most of them no bigger than a tea tray. Their thin browns, ashy grays, and muted blues made people speak softly to one another, as if a shouted word might curdle one of the paintings and ruin it. Bottles, carafes, and ceramic whatnots sat in his paintings like small animals huddling for warmth, and these shy pictures could easily hang next to a Picasso or Matisse without feeling inferior.
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You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, 'This is art, and you can't do it.
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she is nearing forty and not so easily forgiven as when her skin bloomed like roses.
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I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
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It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
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I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
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Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Be so good they can't ignore you.
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I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
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Be so good they can't ignore you.
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