W. S. Gilbert
Quotes by W. S. Gilbert
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Things are seldom what they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream.
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You must stir it and stump it, And blow your own trumpet, Or trust me, you haven't a chance.
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Oh, don't the days seem lank and long, When all goes right and nothing goes wrong And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!
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When a felon s not engaged in his employment, Or maturing his felonious little plans, His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is just as great as any honest mans.
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If you're anxious for to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, You must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.
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Is life a boon? If so, it must befall That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon.
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Darwinian Man, though well-behaved, At best is only a monkey shaved!
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See how the Fates their gifts allot, For A is happy-B is not. Yet B is worthy, I dare say, Of more prosperity than A.
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The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.
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Life's a pudding full of plums.
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Life's perhaps the only riddle That we shrink from giving up.
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Man is Nature's sole mistake!
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.
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About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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When constabulary duty's to be done, The policeman's lot is not a happy one!
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When everyone is somebody, Then no one's anybody.
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I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.
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Spurn not the nobly-born With love affected, Nor treat with virtuous scorn The well-connected.
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The happiest hour a sailor sees Is when he's down At an inland town, With his Nancy on his knees, yo ho! And his arm around her waist!
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When you're lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is tabooed by anxiety, I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in without impropriety.
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