"I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes." ― Patton Oswalt From Patton Oswalt Comedian Added on 1/31/2026 About Patton Oswalt American comedian, actor, and writer known for stand-up comedy, voice acting, and television roles. He won a Primetime Emmy Award for his narration work and has released multiple comedy specials. Born: 1969-01-27 View all quotes from Patton Oswalt