Wife: a former girlfriend

We like the wrong sorts of girls, they wrote. They are usually the ones worth writing about.

Who cares if you have a girlfriend, anyway?I care Simon said gloomily. Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor. And he smells like windex.

I wouldn't have cared if my girlfriend was a Jaguar-driving Cyclops with a beard - I'd have been grateful just to have someone to make out with.