He paused in the hallway, sniffing the air. He scowled, sniffed some more. He pressed an intercom button on the wall. Betty, I distinctly smell sewage. Could you get a plumber out here ASAP? Several curly hairs fluttered in the air after he was gone. I clutched at the arm of the dentist chair. This isn't a joke, Tub! I'm in trouble. We're all in trouble, the whole town, the whole world! You have no clue. You have no idea what kind of things we're dealing with here. There's a whole land of --

I'm serious, Jim. You need to put this crap away. You walk into school on Monday talking to me, or anyone else, about the city's pesky troll problem, and you're not exactly going to get a lot of people saying, 'Gee, thanks for the warning.' It'll spread faster than mono. You think things are tough for us now? Jim, this will be the end. I'm sorry if you had a crazy nightmare. I really am. But I can't let you ruin our lives.

Something warned me that what I might see would haunt me forever.

Is it...can we...is it safe? Tub checked the lot but he seemed unconcerned. Coach Lawrence nabbed him for practice. We live to fight another day, soldier. No...I mean, the thing...is it...? Tub frowned. The thing. Hmmm. Can you be more specific? I clutched at the bumper and raised myself to unsteady feet. I patted the truck bed, taking solace in the cake of dust. It was real; I was not caught in a nightmare. I smeared the dust with my fingers and smelled it. If you lick that, we're no longer friends, Tub said.

It's rude to stare, said the troll. Its mouth opened with a little crest of foam, and shut again in exactly the same way that water closes over a stone. Is it? Why? asked Rincewind. How does he hold himself together, his mind screamed at him. Why doesn't he spill?

And one day Amber takes her troll's dinner down to the cave and finds him— — Rock waved his hands in vague yet thoroughly descriptive motions —— with another lady troll. So she go home and get her club and come back and beat him to death, thump, thump, thump. 'Cos he was her troll and he done her wrong. Is very romantic song.

Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.

And in a nasty war, where's the best place to be? Apart from on the moon, o' course? No one?Slowly, Jade raised a hand.Go on, then, said the sergeant.In the army, sarge, said the troll. 'cos... She began to count on her fingers. One, you got weapons an' armour an' dat. Two, you are surrounded by other armed men. Er... Many, youse gettin' paid and gettin' better grub than the people in Civilian Street. Er... Lots, if'n you gives up, you getting taken pris'ner and dere's rules about that like Not Kicking Pris'ners Inna Head and stuff, 'cos if you kick their pris'ners inna head they'll kick your pris'ners inna head so dat's, like, you're kickin' your own head, but dere's no rule say you can't kick enemy civilians inna head. There's other stuff too, but I ran outa numbers.

No one's ever really ready for a troll.