There is still a lot to be said for the well-made, witty, clever, three-act comedy.

If someone makes you feel wrong-footed, you're unlikely to find them witty.

You can't just be crass without being witty. Angry crass is horrible.

No, sir, I'm not saying that charming, witty and warm copy won't sell. I'm just saying I've seen thousands of charming, witty campaigns that didn't sell.

I'm neurotic by nature, but I'm wary of becoming more of a play than a comic - you don't want people coming to see a man having a breakdown for two hours. I'd prefer them coming to hear my astute and witty observations.

You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff.

Music has shaped men's fashion, and transposed in a playful and witty manner its riding or military heritage. It is difficult to figure out who leads, but music and fashion are connected genetically.

Your wit makes others witty.

Everything deep is also simple and can be reproduced simply as long as its reference to the whole truth is maintained. But what matters is not what is witty but what is true.

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

Every habit makes our hand more witty, and out wit more handy.

One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.

If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.

The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.