Russell Brand
Comedian
1975-06-04
English comedian, actor, writer, and media personality known for stand-up performances and film roles including Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek. He has also hosted television and radio programs in the UK and U.S.
Books by Russell Brand
-
Recovery
View on Amazon -
-
The Pied Piper of Hamelin
View on Amazon
As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.
Quotes by Russell Brand
-
We're naked under our clothes; we both know what it's like to need to fart and hold it in, or not be able to get a hard-on, or worry that a bloke across the room might be looking at your bird and you might have to fight him but he looks well hard.
Read quote -
Have you been out in society recently? 'Cause it's SHIT.
Read quote -
Rebel children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.
Read quote -
I don't like doing anything that makes you sweat if you don't come at the end of it.
Read quote -
I couldn't possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!
Read quote -
The world is awash with colours unseen and abuzz with unheard frequencies. Undetected and disregarded. The wise have always known that these inaccessible realms, these dimensions that cannot be breached by our beautifully blunt senses, hold the very codes to our existence, the invisible, electromagnetic foundations upon which our gross reality clumsily rests.
Read quote -
It is difficult to feel sympathy for these people. It is difficult to regard some bawdy drunk and see them as sick and powerless. It is difficult to suffer the selfishness of a drug addict who will lie to you and steal from you and forgive them and offer them help. Can there be any other disease that renders its victims so unappealing? Would Great Ormond Street be so attractive a cause if its beds were riddled with obnoxious little criminals that had —brought it on themselves?
Read quote -
We are nature; we are nature as we munch gum and check the phone; we are nature as we queasily regret our imperfection, turning the glossy page, turning our glossy stomachs; we are nature as we hear them witter inanely on the radio, desecrating the silence with the violence of their idiocy and dumb verdicts, chattering and grooming, picking through the ticks in their hair, marveling at new minutia.
Read quote -
What I've learnt - to my cost - on several occasions in my life, is that people will put up with all manner of bad behaviour so long as you're giving them what they want. They'll laugh and get into it and enjoy the anecdotes and the craziness and the mayhem as long as you're going your job well, but the minute you're not, you're fucked. They'll wipe their hands of you without a second glance.
Read quote -
I want to change the world, and do something valuable and beautiful. I want people to remember me before I'm dead, and then more afterwards.
Read quote -
A personality for the incredibly beautiful can be a pointless cargo...
Read quote -
I am naïve and I have fucked up but I tell you something else. I believe in change. I don't mind getting my hands dirty because my hands are dirty already. I don't mind giving my life to this because I'm only alive because of the compassion and love of others.
Read quote -
I regret that I didn't realize that actually they've got no power over you at school — it's all just a trick to indoctrinate you into being a conditioned, tame, placid citizen. Rebel, children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory.
Read quote -
Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.
Read quote -
Perhaps if we could popularise through the techniques of branding and consumerism, a different idea, a different narrative, perhaps the world can change. After all it changes constantly and incessantly, it's just the perceptions that we have are governed by people with self-interest and are not inalignment with the health and safety of us as individuals or as a planet.
Read quote -
And while we're on the subject of ducks, which we plainly are, the story, 'The Ugly Duckling' ought be banned as the central character wasn't a duckling or he wouldn't have grown up into a swan. He was a cygnet.
Read quote -
This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink... mug of water.
Read quote -
Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.
Read quote -
Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do.
Read quote -
Say I feel all sad and self-indulgent, then get stung by a wasp, my misery feels quite abstract and I long just to be in spiritual pain once more - 'damn you tiny assassin, clad in yellow and black, how I crave my former innocence where melancholy was my only trial'.
Read quote