TheRealQuotes

"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."

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About Dave Barry

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"I say to you, you want a thrill, volunteer to be an umpire. I'd like you to go just work the base..."
"I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands."
"Take pride in your work at all times. Remember, respect for an umpire is created off the field as..."