Animals are here to live their lives. We are here to live ours. We can live well without eating them. How pathetic it is that we have to eat a life just to live our lives!

The fox has many tricks. The hedgehog has but one. But that is the best of all.

An infallible method of conciliating a tiger is to allow oneself to be devoured.

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.

Humpback whales sing in different accents. You can tell where they come from by listening to them.

To catch a mouse make a noise like a cheese.

He who mounts a wild elephant goes where the wild elephant goes.

If anyone wants to know what elephants are like, they are like people only more so.

An elephant: a mouse built to government specifications.

A horse that can count to ten is a remarkable horse, not a remarkable mathematician.

We watched Saskia jug a hare, once, on television, years ago ... The hare had been half rotted, then cremated, then consumed. If there is a God and she is of the rabbit family, then Saskia will be in deep doo-doo on Judgement Day.

Whenever you observe an animal closely, you feel as if a human being sitting inside were making fun of you.

Animals in different countries have different expressions just as the people in different countries differ in expression.

On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: 'Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out.'

Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.'

There is something about riding down the street on a prancing horse that makes you feel like something, even when you ain't a thing.

Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump: you may be freeing him from being a camel.

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.

In the distance, the gestures of animals look human, the gestures of human beings bestial.

What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, you get an onion with long ears, but one time out of a hundred, you get a piece of ass that makes your eyes water.