Being on the toilet stool is the grossest thing there is, to me.

I see a 16-year-old now, and to ask her to take her clothes off would feel really weird. But they were like, 'If you don't do it, then we're not going to book you again.' So I'd lock myself in the toilet and cry and then come out and do it. I never felt very comfortable about it. There's a lot of boobs. I hated my boobs! Because I was flat-chested.

The hardest thing is when you're in public, and you need to go to the toilet, and someone asks for a photo. And their phone is either flat, dead, or they've turned it off completely. You're trying to rush to the toilet, and they want your autograph - and I hate saying no, I feel so bad.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.

Bangkok is a toilet without a flush.

In Salford, we had fish in our tap water. I remember, one hot summer day, running to the toilet at playtime and dunking our heads in a sink full of water. I remember putting my head in and seeing all these little fish in it.

I told CBS, 'My career is going down the toilet, and you're pulling the chain.'

Now, as husbands go, I have to admit I did all right. Joe is unquestionably handsome, doesn't leave ragged toenail clippings scattered about the house, and has never once, in nearly five thousand days of togetherness, left the toilet seat up.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?'

And I have this little litany of things they can do. And the first one, of course, is to write - every day, no excuses. It's so easy to make excuses. Even professional writers have days when they'd rather clean the toilet than do the writing.

You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

I would arrive in college at 8:30 A. M. and go back home at noon to go to the toilet. Then I would return again.

No innovation in the past 200 years has done more to save lives and improve health than the sanitation revolution triggered by invention of the toilet. But it did not go far enough. It only reached one-third of the world.

The Pacific is the best toilet for satellites.

Acting is invigorating. But I don't analyse it too much. It's like a dog smelling where it's going to do its toilet in the morning.

Poop humor is fun. If you do the toilet scenes well and commit to them, they can be really, really powerful.

In politics, you're like a toilet seat: you're up one day and down the next.